The voices we deny within ourselves become the ones that sabotage us.

For example:

You need to set a boundary in your relationship but doing so makes you feel afraid that your partner will get upset or maybe even leave you for it. 

So because you do not honour the part of you that needs this boundary to be set,

This part will actually CREATE the very outcome you most fear. 

Meaning, this unacknowledged part of you will find ways to create rife & ultimately sabotage the relationship so it can have its needs met. 

Another example:

You feel afraid of acknowledging your shadow desires (like straying outside the relationship) for fear of what that desire “means” about your current relationship. 

So you suppress the shadow desire altogether. 

But again because you have denied this part of yourself, it will start to SABOTAGE so it can be heard. 

It will start to build enough energy within it that you ultimately DO end your relationship or stray in some way. 

The truth is that often we simply need to FEEL & ACKNOWLEDGE the scary things.

• Feel the fear that he may leave you WHILE you set the boundary.

• Acknowledge your shadow desires AND your love for your partner. See that these things can coexist.

While it is scary to acknowledge certain aspects of ourselves, it is actually RISKIER to not feel them...

Because they demand to be felt. 

And if you will not feel them in your current situation, the unconscious will find a way. 

These aspects of self will get expressed in underground ways and can often sabotage the very thing we are trying to protect in the first place. 

This is what it means to illuminate our darkness.

By doing so, we free ourselves and become available for MORE of what we truly want in life.