How to Forgive Your Family

Tonight on family vacay we had a massive blow-out 💥⁠

I will spare the details but I wrote this Tweet (swipe to read) after reflecting on all of our behaviour... because it's easy to condemn each other for not handling something "better" or differently... ⁠

Some avenues of personal development will argue that "we always have a choice" in how we respond... but actually, we don't.⁠

When experiencing an immense emotional charge, no one is really "choosing" to respond any given way.⁠

When we are activated (fear, shame, grief, heartbreak, etc.) beyond our capacity, the unconscious patterns take over and these are the patterns we inherited from a young age.⁠

We didn't CHOOSE them. And we don't CHOOSE to become activated beyond our capacity.⁠

Activation happens >>> we experience something that is beyond our nervous system's capacity to remain present to >>> and the unconscious patterns take over.⁠

The CONSCIOUS PATH is one of continuously building our inner capacity to remain present.⁠

But rather than CONDEMNING the unconscious patterns, can we instead empathize with the little child inside who is simply reacting to activation in the only way it learned how?⁠

With this awareness it becomes much easier to forgive others and to forgive ourselves 🙏⁠