Why I Stopped "Trying" to Grow

 

The reason I stopped "trying" to grow is because so many of the patterns that protected me from MEETING myself fell away.⁠

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As I've met myself, the illusion that some other moment could be better than this moment, disintegrated.⁠

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So the reasons to π’”π’•π’“π’Šπ’—π’† for growth, became laughable.⁠

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Like trying to make something happen --> more than it already, inevitably, constantly happens.⁠

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The real "effort" required to grow, is the courage to keep meeting truth.⁠

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Over, and over, and over again.⁠

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In this sense, growth occurs through 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓.⁠

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By dying to the old so that I can meet myself anew.⁠

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By courageously saying YES to life's invitations, while honouring her resistance.⁠

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This kind of growth inevitably comes with grief.⁠

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It is one death/rebirth after another.⁠

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And yet it is the most rapid, easeful, & fulfilling kind of growth.⁠

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Where life fulfills my deepest divine longings, almost never in the ways I expected or THOUGHT I wanted,⁠

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But in the ways my soul needs.⁠

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Because I keep showing up to meet life fully, how it is, in this moment.