A Conundrum: You Want Someone Who Doesn’t Choose You Back
A Conundrum: You Want Someone Who Doesn’t Choose You Back
(or you want something from your partner they can’t currently give)
In this conundrum, you experience pain & dissatisfaction with the person you “want” for not choosing you or not showing up for you in the way you want.
Inherently this means that the relationship as it currently stands is NOT what you want, but you forget this fact and instead torture yourself and the other by continuing to hope & expect the other to become what’s right for you.
When this is happening you are not in connection with your creational power to receive a match for what you DO want.
Furthermore your attachment to getting what you want with this specific person inhibits them from evolving into what you need or want because what actually allows someone to change & evolve is first acceptance for where & who they are now, today.
Your availability to be met by the match Life/God has for you (rather than who & how YOU THINK it should be) is actually what makes it possible for the person you’re attached to, to become what you desire.
But you must first be willing to die to the vision of it being them. And take that death seriously.
It works like this: You hold the frequency of how you want to be met and then become available to be met that way.
(“Available to be met that way” means you are available for Life/God to bring you your desires in ways you do not expect! It is fundamentally about a release of control while holding the frequency of your desires as sacred.)
Insisting that the person you’re attached to be the one to meet you is not you being available to be met.
It’s you controlling. Which is far from magnetic.
In order to receive what you desire, you must be willing to say no to what is not your desire.
And that means dying to your attachment to the person whom you’re waiting for to show up differently.
Funnily enough, when we are willing to die to the relationship - that is often what allows the relationship to become more of the thing we want,
Because the death often = an untangling of unconscious codependencies which restrict a relationship’s evolution.
The risk is that there is no guarantee of what is on the other side of letting go.
But your willingness to grieve the attachment is what creates space to receive your desire in the form of either this current relationship evolving, or something different altogether.
This post is from Courtney’s Instagram account, @viva_la_vagina