The Positive Side of Codependency

Codependency is often the attractive force that bring us into connection with others. ⁠ ⁠

For this reason, it’s not necessary to vilify codependency altogether. ⁠ ⁠

In many cases, codependencies actually serve the relationship - 𝒖𝒑 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒂 𝒄𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏 𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒕. ⁠ ⁠

The issue becomes that we inevitably hit a point in the relating where it’s time for certain co-dependencies to integrate and drop away. ⁠ ⁠

This is 𝗔) not easy work and 𝗕) something that actually occurs repeatedly in ALL relating ⁠ ⁠

It is simply impossible to relate with ZERO unconscious codependencies… ⁠ ⁠

The codependencies simply become more & more subtle, the deeper we do the work. ⁠ ⁠

The SCARY part of integrating the codependencies is that we never know, on the other side of the integration, what the relationship will be. ⁠ ⁠

It is literally like meeting each other anew. ⁠ ⁠

In my experience, it is 100% always worth it to integrate. ⁠ ⁠

Yes, there can be grief at the loss of what was, ⁠ ⁠

But there is ALWAYS more love, connection, & clarity --> even if that means that the relating dynamic shifts in some way. ⁠ ⁠

(Often it will shift for the better, anyways!) ⁠ ⁠

On my journey (with much assistance from my teacher & community 😉), integrating codependencies when they arise to be seen is all about FEELING & BEING PRESENT TO all that wants to be seen/felt. ⁠ ⁠

Because the things we have not wanted to see/feel are often the reason that the pattern formed & exists within us to begin with. ⁠ ⁠

For this reason, receiving support & attunement at the nervous system level to make it SAFE to feel these things has been & continues to be invaluable. ⁠ ⁠ It is not about feeling everything all at once. ⁠ ⁠

That is simply not healthy or sustainable. ⁠ ⁠

It is about gently finding ways to become present to what is arising in our body to be felt, while monitoring the level of overwhelm & activation in the NS.