Father/Daughter Dynamics in the Development of Healthy Sexuality

When our sexual energy starts to move as a child, there is inevitably an attraction to the primary masculine figure in our lives (father) and this evokes attraction from the father towards the daughter.⁠

Feminine sexual energy evokes masculine attraction, it’s natural.⁠

But this is very taboo and remains deep in the unconscious of our society. And many men have not developed healthy sexuality within themselves, so as this dynamic shows up between fathers/daughters, it often leads to one of two outcomes:⁠

1. Shame & suppression of desire within the father, causing unconscious REJECTION of the girl’s sexual energy and often he unconsciously withdraws his love, attention, & presence at this time as well⁠

OR⁠

2. Inappropriate/abusive sexual behaviour from the father towards daughter⁠

Let’s talk about the first case...⁠

This is how girls receive a very EARLY shameful imprint around their sexuality. At an energetic level we FEEL the rejection of our sexuality by our fathers and this shame is held deep in our bodies.⁠

In addition we then turn to alternative behaviours to earn daddy’s love & attention... being smart, funny, well-behaved, etc.⁠

Now as an adult woman, I have only met a few men EVER in my life that have the depth of presence in which they can be in FULL appreciation and adoration of feminine sexual expression without unconsciously responding with advancement, predation, objectification, rejection, or condescension.

Keep in mind this is felt at an energetic level, not necessarily in overt actions.⁠

Many women I know have NEVER received this healthy masculine imprint and don’t even believe it exists. ⁠

Men, this is also not your fault. You have not been brought up in a space that allows your healthy sexual expression. ⁠

However what girls truly need (and what women also desire!) from men is the ability to channel their sexual energy through their HEART.⁠

When a father can adore & admire his daughter as her sexual energy starts to move, allowing her to feel the reflection of her own beauty in his energetic response, THIS is the healthy masculine imprint she needs... but very very few girls ever receive.

Daddy issues are a real thing and not just in the overt ways we stereotype them to be.

Almost every woman I know including myself has received a version of this painful imprint around our sexuality... which of course goes on to be reinforced as we grow up by the culture around us...

Women, the first step in this healing journey is to simply recognize this dynamic and touch base with the pain & shame around it. Create space to feel the void within yourself, and be gentle with it.

From here we can proceed into conscious eros work and conscious healing journeys like what I have constructed in my 4 week course for women, Viva La Vagina.