When Longing is Entangled With Unmet Childhood Needs

Our adult longings are often entangled with our childhood wounds/stories. ⁠ ⁠

The longing & the wound can almost feel like the same thing in the body.⁠ ⁠

But they are actually two separate energies.⁠ ⁠

For me personally, there is a big entanglement between the longing to be met, and helplessness.⁠ ⁠

There is my woman who wants to be met in her fullness,⁠ ⁠

And there is my little girl who feels helpless - like no matter what she does, she cannot be met in the way she needs.⁠ ⁠

These entanglements can make it more difficult to be met in our longing,⁠ ⁠

Because the energy is not clean.⁠ ⁠

There’s Longing mixed with neediness.⁠ ⁠

Longing mixed with anger & resentment.⁠ ⁠

Longing mixed with defeat.⁠ ⁠

Longing mixed with doubt.⁠ ⁠

And so - the work is to untangle these.⁠ ⁠

So that the longing can be embodied cleanly,⁠ ⁠

And it can become the full attractive force that it is.⁠ ⁠

How do we untangle?⁠ ⁠

We build our capacity to meet the little one who was not met in the way she once needed.⁠ ⁠

We build our capacity to feel & integrate those young sensations that are still held in the body.⁠ ⁠

And the more deeply we meet the needs of our inner little one,⁠ ⁠

The more we can invite another to meet us without simultaneously upholding an expectation that they meet the needs of our child, too.⁠ ⁠