Why the Inner Child Sabotages Us

When we do not honour the inner child’s concerns in relating,⁠ ⁠

She will sabotage the relationship on our behalf.⁠ ⁠

This is because she has to get 𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗿 & 𝗹𝗼𝘂𝗱𝗲𝗿 in order to be heard.⁠ ⁠

She will find ways to destroy the very things we love most, in order to get the attention she needs.⁠ ⁠

For example:⁠ ⁠

There are times where I’ve known that 𝘀𝗽𝗮𝗰𝗲 would serve my relationship, and my adult brain has told me to take it.⁠ ⁠

But I have a little one inside who still believes:⁠ ⁠ “I need to accept all the connection I can get”⁠ ⁠

And she’s afraid that if she says no to something, she won’t receive another opportunity.⁠ ⁠

While my adult brain knows that this likely isn’t true,⁠ ⁠

She’s quite convinced that this is the case!⁠ ⁠

It’s not necessary or healthy to shut her fears down,⁠ ⁠

Or try to convince her otherwise.⁠ ⁠

But this doesn’t mean that I let my inner child run the show,⁠ ⁠

It means that I pay attention to her feelings & concerns.⁠ ⁠

I walk WITH her, through her fears, holding her hand, being present to what arises along the way.⁠ ⁠

As I accompany her, rather than ignore or suppress her,⁠ ⁠ She becomes less likely to sabotage.⁠ ⁠

But it is not enough to simply acknowledge her,⁠ ⁠

We must find that balanced combination of adhering to our adult knowing, while validating & seeking to understand the fears of the child.⁠ ⁠