The Truth About Polyamory, Relationship Structures, & Freedom

We often associate FREEDOM with having fewer boundaries/agreements/commitments. ⁠
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For example, many people believe that open relating provides more FREEDOM than a monogamous container. ⁠
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While this is true on one level, it is only one side of the coin. ⁠
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It is also true that MORE freedom can be found within structure due to the safety it can provide. ⁠
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For example, the activation or “poking” of certain attachment wounds that can be prevalent in open relating or polyamory actually becomes a LIMITATION, because this poking ultimately creates a lack of safety. The lack of safety limits the depth of connection that both people can access together. This is not a theory, it is an understanding of the human nervous system on a subtle level. ⁠
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Another example, the child who feels safe KNOWING their caretaker is there will travel & explore further than the child who is afraid that if they go off to explore, their caretaker won’t be paying attention. ⁠
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Agreements, boundaries, & commitments are structures that create SAFETY, and it is this safety that allows for greater freedom in terms of the DEPTH & RANGE that becomes accessible. ⁠
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I share this to highlight that there can be great freedom within structure. Perhaps even MORE freedom than without those structures. ⁠
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The key is understanding the “structures” that create the right amount of safety for you. ⁠