The Stages of Empowerment

In the early stages of empowerment it is common (& necessary) to point the finger outwards.

To make the outside world wrong for how you feel & what you've experienced.

We need to validate this "victimized" part FIRST before we can take the next step.

If we bypass the "victim" stage, we often bypass feeling what we must feel in order to heal.

🔑The KEY is that this "victim" stage of making the outside world responsible for our trauma is not meant to be the destination.

If we continue to believe that the outside world must change in order for us to feel empowered within, we remain forever a victim.

As a woman I used to hold enormous pain, grief, & rage towards men & our western culture around sexuality.

I felt generations of pain around having our sexual boundaries crossed as women, being objectified, unmet, unseen, etc.

I felt a deep hatred towards men AND incredible powerlessness. In fact, I resented being a woman. I believed that anyone given the choice would choose to be a man... I believed menstruation & childbirth were curses upon us... The list goes on...

But if I had made it my mission to turn men into apologists, insisting that everyone read a certain list of books, insisting that they take a look in the mirror, DEMANDING that everyone around me change so that I could finally feel empowered as a woman...

I would NOT be the Empowered Woman I am today 🔥🔥

I became TRULY empowered when:

🔥I stopped looking to the outside world to take my pain away

🔥I stopped believing that I could only be empowered when "the system" corrected itself

🔥I recognized that the unconscious masculine qualities I was attracting into my life were a reflection of MY OWN INNER MASCULINE & the beliefs I held about men

🔥I faced the fact that NO ONE & NO THING were going to SAVE ME

I become empowered as a woman when I became self-responsible.

It's so easy to fall into the victim trap. It's also easy to unknowingly KEEP OTHERS in the victim trap...

We actually do this when we become apologists and insist that the outside world changes for the sake of others.

Feel your pain. It's valid. But don't let the victim stage become the destination.