Sexual Awakening & Grieving the Old Way

Every time a new level of sexual opening occurs,

There will be some amount of grief for the loss of the old way. 

The old way of getting aroused. 

The old way of having sex. 

The old way of feeling pleasure. 

Because the new opening occurs when there is enough safety that the old protective patterns can drop away.

Which means that what previously AROUSED those patterns,

Will not feel arousing anymore. 

This can feel like a loss of sexual identity. 

Wondering why our previous turn ons don’t turn us on like they used to. 

It may even lead to thinking something is now wrong with you,

But actually what is required is the attunement to your “new” needs & desires. 

I had a woman message me asking why she just doesn’t feel available for “quickies” anymore, having done some deeper work around her sexuality. 

There was a sense of concern around this for her. 

And I get it, because I have ventured through similar transitions many times. 

Sexual awakening is not all about pleasure & orgasms,

It is about the death of the old “you”

As the deeper, more integral, more sensitive, more aware, (and yes - more orgasmic) you emerges. 

Sexual awakening does not occur without the willingness to surrender the identities we have unconsciously adopted. 

And as with releasing any attachment, this process is not always blissful. 

It requires that we meet ourselves, our TRUE selves, at continually deeper levels.

It also requires that we see through the expectations we’ve had of ourselves and of what “good sex” looks like,

In favour of discovering something new.