The Shadow of Being the "Teacher"

Being the “teacher” in your romantic relationship is selfish AF. Here’s why...

I am soooo guilty of this one.

I teach the man in super skillful ways to see & integrate his own patterns/triggers because I’m afraid of him NOT doing the work.

I’m afraid that if he doesn’t see THIS unconscious piece or the cause of THAT activation in himself,

That I won’t be able to trust him.
To relax into him.

That he won’t perceive our relationship “correctly,”
That I’ll lose him.

That he won’t be “enough” for me.
And that once again I’ll have to feel the pain/guilt of wanting more...

And so- something in me believes that if I CAN HELP HIM see his shit, I can prevent these things.

The irony, is that my “teaching” is coming from a place of fear and control.

And thus it actually PREVENTS him from demonstrating that I can trust him,

Demonstrating that he can handle his own shit,

And demonstrating that he IS the man for me.

Look, 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞 there will be so many moments in relating that you teach, lead, guide, etc.

But the healthiness of this depends entirely on where it’s COMING from within you.

And also- the more you try to “teach” him in underground ways how to be the man you need, the more emasculating it is.

He will absolutely feel your lack of trust.

And trust is the EXACT thing the masculine needs from you in order to show up as his best self.

Basically- there is no positive outcome of trying to teach him from this place of fear & control.

𝐒𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐨 “𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡” 𝐡𝐢𝐦?

You can get back in your own damn lane.

BE with the fear of abandonment,

The fear of disappointment,

The fear of losing the relationship!

This is not only the healthy, non-codependent path,

It’s how you actually create the SPACE for him to be the man you desire.

P.S. In the Art of Cock Worship online course I teach you how to 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐤𝐞 more of what you love & desire from the masculine.