The Journey of Moving From Female Promiscuity to Discernment

Sacred sexuality. We're finally celebrating it. Women are coming out of the shadows of the good girl and reclaiming their erotic essence, and ultimately their sustenance.

Beyond that, the way people relate is changing. In fact, non-monogamy is seemingly at an all time high. It makes sense, considering the divorce rates, that people want to try new things.

Hop on the internet and you might see glimpses of sensual tantra-like parties on sheepskin rugs and wonder, “are they all sleeping together?”

The Distinction Between Conscious Sexual Behavior and Promiscuity

So what separates ‘conscious' sexual exchanges from the exchanges of the ever-demonized slut? After all, the girl in high school who flaunted her Eros was criticized, shamed, and outcast.

The difference? Discernment.

Let us go on a journey. Perhaps you find yourself relating to the woman depicted.

When descending into the depths of her sexuality, a woman will inevitably awaken a well of desires. They may surprise her, they may scare her, but she may rest assured that not all need to be actualized. Rather they serve as energy to manifest what heart-aligned desires she chooses to explore.

Amongst this awakening, a woman will likely discover the deep feminine desire for attention. Yes, she likes to be seen. She likes to be adored. She likes to be wanted. And the more she grows in her eroticism and not only accepts, but loves what she sees in the mirror, the more intense her longing to be seen will grow.

And so if she were without discernment, she would simply go out into the world and transform herself into the highly promiscuous (and highly misunderstood and sacred) archetype of the S L U T.  Perhaps an extreme version, perhaps not.

It might just look like saying yes to the first few men that give her attention. Oh how yummy it feels to explore this side of herself! But after the buzz wears off and she's left with an empty hole, because he didn't call or it wasn't as fulfilling as she'd hope, the truth will set in.

The Container: Why Eros Needs Depth

Eros expressed requires a container. And if he isn't providing it, she must.

Imagine she empties herself into a river with an eroded riverbed. Suddenly all that life force energy building within her, peaks and never comes back. Although it seemed she wanted to be seen in her eroticism, she discovers, she actually wanted to be seen in her fullness, meaning her heart too.

If he lacked the depth to penetrate her beyond his primal urges, to her very core, it may feel as if her erotic expression was a shallow wade pool that distracted him from the depths of her murky waters she knows are sacred and seldom explored.

And so her discernment grows. The inner compass that guides desires of the heart and pussy as one unified desire, becomes more dialed-in.

The Gift of Feminine Radiance and the Responsibility of Choice

Through time, she learns that her feminine radiance, be it expressed through love or eros, is a gift.

There will be times she is so full-up on her own source of radiance that she is able to give freely. And there will be times she is not. For the most part, she will realize it needs to be expressed inside of a container that promises a reciprocation of energy.

Painfully, she will learn too, that while her erotic expression wields power and has the power to magnetize quickly, that great power requires skilled handling. She must discern with whom, and she must discern her why.

The Forbidden Fruit: The Power and Burden of Desire

Suddenly it all makes sense, doesn't it? The forbidden fruit. The witches burned at the stake.

Can you imagine the woman who doesn't integrate her eroticism with her heart. Who feeds on the power of those who lust for her? Perhaps she makes money in the strip club, or perhaps she rules kingdoms, but even she must learn boundaries and discernment, as there is always power greater than thee.

And one must wonder, does it ever catch up with her? The pure longings of the heart? The desire for compatibility, companionship, love? Surely, we all long to be witnessed in our deepest vulnerability. Or is to be seen in her power simply enough?

FAQ

• What does it mean when a girl is promiscuous?

  Female promiscuity is often misunderstood. A woman engaging with multiple sex partners isn’t inherently reckless, she may be exploring her sexual behavior with intention, or simply following deep-rooted instincts seen in many species. In the animal world, female animals engage in multiple mating as part of sexual selection, choosing partners for genetic quality or pleasure. But in human behavior, this is met with judgment.

  
  

  Society loves to label, but the truth? The observed association between a woman’s sexual choices and her worth is nothing but an outdated construct. Men behave in the same ways, yet male promiscuity carries little weight. The real question isn’t how many partners she has, but rather, is she choosing from a place of sovereignty or seeking validation?

• What are the disadvantages of female promiscuity?

  For a woman who lacks discernment, the journey of multiple males can lead to a void rather than fulfillment. While human mating in socially monogamous species doesn’t prohibit exploration, the energy of eroticism needs a container, or she risks feeling overwhelmed by encounters that don’t nourish her.

  
  

  Beyond personal impact, many societies impose sexual norms that punish women for the very things they celebrate in men. Slut shaming, the expectation of sexual fidelity, and the pressure of long-term relationships all shape how a woman’s sexual behavior is perceived. In the realm of evolutionary biology, though, extra pair males and extra pair copulations have always existed, women’s sexuality was never meant to be confined.

• Is promiscuity a red flag?

  In heterosexual males, studies show a significant association between a preference for long-term mating and partners with fewer past encounters. But that’s just one angle. If a woman’s sexual past is rich, it doesn't mean she lacks the capacity for depth, it depends on emotional regulation, self-awareness, and personal values.

  
  

  Some women move through multiple partners and emerge clearer, more grounded. Others get lost in the power of attraction without understanding the energetic cost. The real red flag isn’t promiscuity, but whether she’s using sex to escape herself.

• Is promiscuity a trauma response?

  For some, yes. Childhood sexual abuse, emotional neglect, or unmet needs can drive multiple mating as a means of seeking paternal investment, safety, or control. The negative relationship between early trauma and later sexual exploration is well-documented, but that doesn’t mean every promiscuous woman is acting from wounds.

  
  

  In the animal species, females engage in extra pair fertilization to enhance survival. In human mating, a woman may do the same, consciously or unconsciously. The distinction lies in her ability to discern—is she integrating her erotic power, or leaking it? Promiscuous respondents in studies vary, but the linear regression of behavior suggests one truth: a woman in her power doesn’t need validation through sex—she chooses when, how, and with whom she shares her radiance.

Written by Megan Bloom

Follow Megan on Instagram @bloomingwombs.