Why You Keep Settling

One of the big secrets to upholding HIGH standards for the lovers you attract is being able to HOLD the tender parts of yourself that cause you to settle for less.⁠

For example: You know you desire a certain quality of lover/partner... someone who truly sees you, honours you, cherishes you...⁠

And yet you find yourself settling for less than that.⁠

Why? Because at some point you learned to over-step your own boundaries in favour of getting certain needs met.⁠

And these patterns usually originate from childhood --> when we learned that we could receive the love & attention we needed by compromising on the boundaries that felt good for us.⁠

So in order to uphold the standards you truly desire, it's necessary to confront the pain of not having received love & attention for being EXACTLY who you are.⁠

As you can acknowledge the little one inside who didn't receive what she needed --> as you are present to that grief, loneliness, & pain --> your capacity grows 🌱⁠

And you become less willing to settle.⁠

Because you no longer need to over-step yourself in an attempt to avoid that pain.⁠

You can be with it.⁠

And as you meet yourself more deeply in this process, you will attract lovers who can meet you in that depth, too.⁠