Week 2
Week 2
Viva La Vagina
Welcome!
This week is all about healing & awakening the vagina. As you become acquainted with the practice of self-yoni massage in this module, you are being guided to tune in to your body & yoni, & allow the movement of your sexual energy to start clearing energetic blocks within you.
As sexual energy is liberated in your system, it is natural & expected that you come up against emotional triggers & blocks. Remember to be gentle with yourself in this process and go slow! (Slower is faster in this work).
Note that when you come up against resistance, the more gentle you can be with yourself, the more integration & progress will occur. When we push our nervous system too much, the pushing can actually backfire & reinforce triggers or even re-traumatize.
Make sure to support your nervous system throughout these practices with a strong emphasis on conscious breathing & slowing down whenever you notice that you dissociate (i.e. your awareness leaves your body). Lastly, prioritize relaxation throughout this process as this will help your system to integrate.
Going Inside
In this video I discuss the magic of exploring inside the vagina and why it's so important.
This is a process of slowly unlocking yourself. Adopt a mindset of discovery and patience.
Breath & Expression
The importance of expressing emotion, specifically through making sounds. How to use deep breathing to circulate your sexual energy and intensify your orgasms. Using your breath as a barometer.
How to get out of your head?
Q: "I feel somewhat numb to pleasure, and often stuck in my head. What to do?"
A: Dissociating from the body into the mind is a very common response to early trauma or experiences in which your system did not feel safe. Thus, in order to welcome more pleasure & awareness back into the body, we need to create more safety. Think of this as your body slowly “thawing out” of a freeze-response. The safer you feel, the more easily your body can gently unfreeze. We create this safety by celebrating ourselves, focusing on the pleasure we ARE experiencing, noticing what we CAN feel in the body, and being compassionate. When you find yourself stuck in your head, be gentle with yourself in these moments rather than condemning or criticizing. Acknowledge that this is a response your system learned because at one time you did not feel safe to be IN your body.
By continuing to bring your awareness into the body via whole-body self touch & massage, you are learning that it IS safe to be in the body now. Note that emotions & memories related to past experiences in which you dissociated from the body may arise as you become re-acquainted with being in the body. Be gentle with yourself as this happens, and remember that all you need to “do” in these moments is be present to what you feel. If the feelings or sensations become overwhelming, simple yet powerful ways to stabilize your system include:
looking around the room (to let your animal nervous system know it is safe)
touching your body in a firm, grounding way
hugging yourself or asking a loved one to hold you
taking a walk and noticing what the bottoms of your feet feel like
spending time in nature
crawling very slowly on your feet and hands mindfully, noticing how the floor or earth supports you
Other ways to promote safety as you progress through the course practices include creating a comfortable & private environment to explore in, and honouring any resistance that arises rather than forcing your way past it.
Practice: Self-Yoni Massage
Healing and awakening the vagina by intuitively touching, massaging, feeling, and releasing.
Commit to doing this practice 3 times this week, for a bare minimum of 15 minutes each time. This is an ongoing practice, and the more time you spend here, the more you will notice the transformational effects!
The best tool for internal yoni massage is a curved, non-vibrating toy made of glass, stainless steel, or crystal/stone. The Cervix Wand is our favourite and best-selling wand for self-yoni massage.
Summary:
Whole body massage (especially pelvis, belly, & thighs)
Massaging the vulva
Internal massage (working your way up & around the entire inside)
Remember to breathe deep & make a sound on every exhale
Express gratitude to your yoni when you complete the practice
Noteworthy Q&A on Self-Yoni Massage
Q: "I have a question regarding yoni massages. I've done them 3 or 4 times now and every time I do, I do find there is pain, I breathe through it, do pressure points and little circular massages, and today I actually released a bit through crying. But most of the time after I do a yoni massage I experience sharp pelvic pain & cramping. Would you suggest that I am doing something wrong or this is part of the process of healing?"
A: Tenderness, cramping, etc. after your yoni massage can certainly occur - on both a physical & emotional level. It's important to practice gentleness as you progress through this work. Give your nervous system lots of time to integrate after each yoni massage and definitely don't expect to eradicate ALL pain, tension, etc. within a short period of time. Sometimes a massive release can occur for women that results in the alleviation of serious pain, but other times it's a slower process of healing & awakening.
My suggestion is to check with your yoni (i.e. actually ASK her if she is ready for another massage) and allow lots of time in between each session if you are noticing tenderness, and especially sharp pain. It is actually NOT useful to force this practice when your yoni is not welcoming it, as that will only perpetuate the crossing of your own boundaries and thus will create LESS safety - meaning your yoni will contract and become even more resistant to opening.
Ultimately this is a practice that gets integrated into your life more intuitively as you become accustomed to it - meaning that it can be something you do before/after self-pleasure, as a practice on its own, or simply whenever you sense that your pelvic area is starting to hold on to tension & stress.
Keywords: gentleness & patience!
The G-Spot
Locating & awakening the G-Spot to pleasure. Understanding the emotions that may arise.
The Cervix
Understanding the cervix in its capacity for pleasure, intuitive guidance, inner truth, and profound heart connection.
When massaging the cervix, I suggest using a crystal pleasure wand or the round spherical end of The Cervix Wand. Begin gently.
Noteworthy Q&A on De-Armouring the Cervix
Q: “I am unable to reach my cervix with my fingers, so I am using The Cervix Wand for massage. However, my cervix is quite numb so I’m unable to feel how much pressure I am really applying. I have awareness of my cervix when I REALLY focus, but at the same time I also can’t feel much. How do I know if I’m applying too much pressure when I can’t even feel how much pressure I’m applying due to numbness?
A: Firstly, Numbness is common and it is also common for the cervix to re-armour herself if she is not given loving attention for a period of time. With regards to applying pressure, remember that MORE pressure doesn’t mean you are necessarily “doing” or achieving more. Very very gentle touch with loving intention & inviting your cervix to speak to you is all that is needed. If you find that she is numb, applying more pressure will not necessarily be the thing that wakes her up. You can also communicate with her, even if you cannot feel the physical touch because of the numbness - as you are touching your cervix with the wand, ask her how it is for her. Ask her how she wants to be touched. She will speak to you :)
Q: “Does the cervix ever gain FULL feeling or is it always kind of a little bit more dull than other aspects inside the vagina?”
A: She can become the most sensitive part of the vagina. I encourage you not to place an expectation on “getting somewhere” but rather make the practice about a loving conversation with your cervix. Deeply honouring her, rather than needing her to become different than how she is.
Audio: Healing Sexual Shame
In this recording I discuss the fundamental framework for healing and addressing sexual shame (and other strong emotional responses that commonly arise during this journey).
Key takeaways:
Understanding the experience of shame as a breakthrough
The two common responses to the arising of shame
How to healthily integrate shame
Womb Clearing
The importance of honouring your vagina and womb, and keeping her clear of energetic and emotional clutter. A powerful meditation to release past experiences and cleanse your womb.
Week 2 Challenge
Share your experience of self-yoni massage in our Private Facebook Group. What has been most challenging about it? What did you learn about yourself and your yoni?
Use this challenge post as an opportunity to ask any questions you have so far - and receive support from all of us.
Courtney xx
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