The Truth About a "Tight Vagina"
From a fairly young age, the "importance of a tight vagina" is a message we receive and believe we need to strive for.
And why? Well for starters, the culture around sexual pleasure in our society is extremely friction-based. More, harder, and faster... Therefore, of course men and women both believe that a "tight" vagina is more pleasurable and desirable.
But let's be clear - having a tight vagina is not empowering. And actually, when you understand what it means to have a tight vagina, it's not very desirable at all.
This is not to say that a weak or extremely loose vagina is desirable either.
But a tight vagina, is a tense vagina. And a healthy, aroused vagina is not tense.
A happy, healthy, and aroused vagina is open, receptive, juicy, strong, articulate, and supple.
When a vagina is aroused, it's supposed to expand, open, and soften. It's supposed to relax and become inviting.
Tightness or tension is actually an indication of dissociation and trauma. In addition, tightness often goes hand-in-hand with difficulty with arousal, lubrication, or the experience of pain during sex.
This tightness and tension is often a result of stored emotions and traumatic experiences in the vagina - which is why bringing awareness to the vagina and intentionally connecting with her on a regular basis is so important.
Still think you want a "tight" vagina?
Having a very tight or a very loose vagina are indications that you are not connected to this part of yourself, and you are definitely not accessing your womb and vagina as an intuitive power source.
For most women, the idea of their womb and vagina as being their intuitive guide and source of power is foreign or "woo-woo."
But if you want to discover a deeper sense of self, pleasure, power, and purpose, then deepening your awareness and connection to this part of yourself is absolutely essential.
The more attention and awareness you bring to your vagina, the more you will develop an understanding of what it means to "hear" what she is saying to you. You will feel her truthful expression more strongly, and your life will become enriched by your vagina's intuitive guidance.
We want an awake and "sentient" vagina that is sensitive and turned on. We want to be able to hear her messages to us, and to honour them.
Given this information, you might be asking - what is the importance and hype around kegels and practices like the jade egg? Despite often being marketed towards helping women achieve a "tight vagina," the benefits of the jade egg practice are really about creating strength, sentience, aliveness, awareness, and healing in the vagina. In turn, you will undoubtedly experience more pleasure and sensitivity.
Having a strong and awakened pelvic floor is hugely important, but it's not about being tight!
If you're wondering where to start when it comes to connecting, developing strength and awareness, and honouring your vagina, I encourage you to explore Viva La Vagina, the online course I’ve created for women.